Friday, February 24, 2012

HELP!

I’m a talker…we all know this by looking at my blog, and if you know me then you know firsthand that I talk, and I talk a lot!  Sometimes I talk about girly things, sometimes about fitness, other times about feelings, once in a while politics, at certain times I’ll talk about the weather, or a movie, or sports, or my family.  I talk to anybody, my friends, my family, my dog, my husband, the fast food employee, the bank teller, the random person at a table over from me at the restaurant…really I talk to anybody about anything!  I used to not be like this, I used to be very shy and quiet.  I joined an organization that was about leadership in high school and all of the quiet happy dance life I lead was GONE!  But all of that changed this past weekend…this past weekend I lost my voice! 



Help! Have you seen it?  My voice?  I’ve looked everywhere for it, under the couch, in the basement, in the drawers, next to the computer, at home, at work…I can’t find it anywhere.



I tried to coax it back with hot tea, cold water, not talking, lemon, honey, sleep, seeing the doctor, and medicine…it’s still not back yet.  Well let’s just say, it is a little bit of a tease…you know the kind of voices that come back one minute  and then are gone the next…yeah that kind of tease. 

I’ll wake up, say two words with a voice and then next sentence I say I won’t have one at all.  Then it comes back and I sound like a goose, or as a coworker told me today, a boy going through puberty...wonderful, just the image I was going for.  My goose like voice goes from being little more than a whisper to full on honking noise for a word or two and then back to being a whisper.  COME ON!  I need my voice back! 



My wonderful husband, who really does love me, and likes to give me a hard time, told me last night that he likes dinner when I don’t have a voice, it’s quiet.  My close friends told me to stop talking, they can’t take the honking anymore, I laugh, but I know it’s true…I sound ridiculous!  So I am now quiet.

Life for a talker without a voice ends up being a bunch of text messages and very “loud” arm movements to make points come across clearer.  So I end bombarding my friends with 100 texts every hour OR knock over a vase trying to make my “voice” heard using my arms. 



I know my friends are tired of so many texts and I know Bebe would like me to stop pointing furiously at things and waving my arms up in the air (like I just don’t care…sorry got carried away there) to try and “tell” him what it is I would like to say while mouthing the words.  I also don’t know how to mini message, as in just say a few things to get the point across, so instead of “whispering” a short sentence, I make a display of a paragraph.  This gets strange looks by the people near us, or just from Bebe, since most of the time what I am trying to say can’t be “told” through whirling my arms around above my head!  I should go to miming school, maybe then people would understand me! 



Boy, when I finally do get my voice back, the world better watch out!  I haven’t really spoken in so long I really won’t know how to shut my mouth!  Maybe that’s why I can’t find my voice…the universe isn’t ready for the talker to come back…maybe I spoke my last full on story last week and until the universe is prepared the voice is gone for good. Wouldn’t that be horrible?!?  I don’t know what I would do!  I’m a worrier, this now has me worried…If I never got my voice back, vases and small children near me wouldn’t have a chance, and all of my friends and family would need unlimited texting for me to even contact them!



I have a lost voice, somewhere in the mighty abyss that is the world…if you find it please return it!  This talker needs a voice!!